I have been married for 16+ years, and been with my wife for 20+ years. This is a sensitive area for a lot people, I can only discussed my perspective based on my personal experiences.  1. If you get caught up in the superficial, you will get caught up ! 2. Black men have to step their game up ! Your word, handshake and commitments reflect your patterns. If your patterns are weak, you do not know how to commit to anything from improving yourself to relationships. The end result is your words mean nothing and have no value. On the other hand, I need for someone to give me the true definition of a strong black woman ? My Great grandmother LizziePerry was a strong black woman, my mother is a strong black woman and my wife is a strong black woman. So what I am observing is money, material possessions, education and career/job as being characteristics of a strong black woman? Please explain? Glenn D. Andrews


  1. In order to respond/reply, I want to be clear on the message, are your observations that money, material possessions, education, career/job are the defining characteristics of strength?

    1. Hello Mrs. Burton,

      No, I don’t think they are the characteristics of strength. When I participated in a group discussion with several ladies of various backgrounds, a common thread of the single professional women were career, education, wealth and social organization network relationships as characterisrics of strength. The married ladies had a common thread of self determination, the importance of personal relationships and when they spoke they were heard, be it career or family. The married ladies, who were professionals as well, stated that if they are in a position to improve the conditions of the external environment of others they will and this made them better as individuals. The age range was from 33-50 years old? ( some did not want to disclose age!!) and the education level was undergraduate, graduate, a few attorneys and one PHD. The single women who own businesses with no college experience had a perspective that was more in common with the married professional women. So, as much as I learned quite a bit from a demographic standpoint what is a strong woman? I want to contrast the answer to that question with what is the definition of man?

  2. Ok …. in my opinion career, material items, education, wealth, belonging to social organizations are all descriptors that I have heard used to define success… after all you can have wealth ..but not have what it takes to survive without wealth ..thereby making you weak… Strength to me is not tangible…it comes from within…it comes from experience….it determined by your upbringing… When I have used the term strength to describe a man or a woman, I see a person that has values (determined by them) and they stand behind those values….they don’t wavier, not to be confused with stubborn…. I see a person committed to who they are and does not give in to influences…. A person that can remain in equilibrium through chaos….A person that inspires others to be their best and better by example ….. A person that has enough courage to say I don’t know, but I will figure it out… A person that will take a stand when everyone else wants to sit and finally life experiences make you strong… the mind, body and spirit become strong under stress…..

    1. Ms. T. Burton,

      I presented that response !!! And I was challenged by the contempt of the messenger rather than the message. But, some of the ladies came to my defense and in the end defined strength as a pattern of character, honor, respect and tenacity during challenging times. I had a similar discussion with a few brothers and they were a reflection from a demographic perspective. With the young brothers there was a degree of selfishness – it is all about me. Because of the nice car, career, education and money there are no dating difficulties- and settling down is not even in the picture. So, you have two groups not concerned with character, and attracted to each other because of the material things.

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